We Were Never Meant To Do This Alone

How Community Became a Radical Act

In a society obsessed with the self ; self-worth, self-love, self-branding — it’s easy to forget that the self was never meant to stand alone. Somewhere along the way, we internalized the idea that needing others is weak, that our identities are best built in isolation, and that healing is a solo mission.

But the more I study psychology, politics, and culture, the more I realise: community shouldn’t feel like a luxury, it’s a human necessity. And reclaiming it might just be the most radical thing we can do.

The Individual as a Political Product

Rob Tweedy, in The Political Self, argues that our inner world is not apolitical. The way we experience emotions, relationships, and even identity is shaped by the systems around us. The self - far from being an isolated, pure entity - is political.

In other words, your anxiety, your loneliness, your sense of disconnection — they are not just personal failings. They’re symptoms of a society that prioritizes individualism at the expense of human connection.

Tweedy challenges the dominant view of mental health as an internal, private issue. Instead, he suggests that many of our psychological struggles are collective in nature — a reflection of living in a world where we are conditioned to be emotionally self-sufficient, disconnected from others, and distanced from any real sense of belonging.

Emotional Health is Social

Long before therapy was trending on social media, Wilhelm Reich was one of the first to propose that emotional health couldn’t be separated from political and social structures. A student of Freud who later broke away, Reich believed that repressive societies create repressed individuals — people cut off from their own feelings, desires, and sense of solidarity.

Reich argued that isolation serves authoritarian power, because people disconnected from each other are easier to control.

He wasn’t just talking about governments — he was talking about how capitalism and cultural norms strip us of collective bonds and convince us to suppress our true selves in order to “function.”

Sound familiar?

Think of all the times you’ve heard “I must deal with it alone” or your friends hitting you with the “that’s your baggage, not mine” when you tried to communicate about something that bothered you. Or being told that you must figure out why you’re attracting abusive partners instead of being met with some acknowledgement to the eery fact that nearly every woman has experienced a toxic or abusive partner, and we do in fact still live in patriarchy.

I mean of course, we have to look at ourselves and take accountability, but that’s not looking at the full picture and that is not actually progressive in bringing awareness to the social structures we exist within.

Fear Culture much?

Sociologist Frank Furedi takes it further. In his work, he critiques how our modern world has developed a culture of fear, where trust between people is eroded and the public sphere has collapsed. We live more privatized lives than ever before - physically, emotionally, and digitally.

We might follow thousands online, but how many people actually know us?

Furedi argues that this erosion of trust and public life leads to people becoming hyper-focused on their personal vulnerabilities, instead of participating in a shared social world. We stop seeing each other as allies, neighbours, or co-creators, and start seeing each other as threats or competitors.

Healing Isn’t Solitary

What Reich, Tweedy, and Furedi all highlight in their own ways, is that the self is never just the self. We are shaped, hurt, and healed in relation to others.

The myth of individual healing leaves too many of us trapped in cycles of shame and burnout, wondering why yoga and journaling aren’t enough.

Because they were never meant to be enough.

We need more than wellness routines. We need community, interdependence, and collective meaning.

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Reclaiming Community in an Age of Disconnection

So where do we begin?

Community isn’t just a warm and fuzzy idea. It’s a counter-narrative to the individualistic, neoliberal story we’ve been fed: that you are your productivity, your independence, your ability to suffer quietly and keep going.

What if, instead, you are your capacity to connect?

What if healing was less about “fixing” yourself and more about remembering you were never broken — just disconnected?